


Speedo Optional

by Thalia DMuse (truth_renowned)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mulder/Scully UST - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 08:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6232447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_renowned/pseuds/Thalia%20DMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A string of bizarre murders send Mulder and Scully to a secluded resort in Florida. Small spoilers for Leonard Betts and Small Potatoes. Completed in 1997.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bare Valley, Florida  
April 22, 11:45am

Dana Scully watched the lush scenery fly past the passenger window of the Taurus. The tall palm trees, their trunks swaying in the breeze, waved to her, welcoming her to paradise.

She knew the case before them was the furthest thing from an X-File they had seen in a long time. To her it looked like a straight-forward serial murderer case, pretty much by the book. A case for VCS, not the X-Files division. She knew her partner knew this as well but he would never admit that to her. The only reason she was going along with the charade was because the Bureau was footing the bill for them to stay at a secluded, and very pricey, resort in sunny Florida.

Scully peered at the file folder on her lap. There was something Mulder was holding back about the case. She could tell by the way he was gnawing on his bottom lip. He always did that when he was keeping something from her. To her knowledge, he didn't know he had that personality quirk, and she wasn't about to tell him. It was like the proverbial bell around the cat's neck: it was her way of knowing he was up to something.

"So, Mulder, what are your thoughts on this?" She lifted the folder from her lap and waved it around a few times for effect.

"What's to think?" he shrugged. "Three mysterious deaths, three different methods: one burned alive, one buried alive and the last one hung. No witnesses to any of the murders and no evidence left at any of the three scenes. All three victims worked at the resort yet they rarely associated with each other outside of resort activities. I'd say that's odd."

Scully nodded. "I agree, it _is_ odd. It's also something VCS, or even the Miami field office, could have handled. Why are _we_ here?"

Mulder tilted his head to the side. "I thought it was an intriguing case. The local police are stumped and the owner of the resort has an old army buddy in the Miami field office, who just happens to owe me a favor. Anyway, the owner has big bucks, most of it residing in this tiny community, and he's threatened to close the resort if the murderer isn't found pronto." He hesitated as he took a turnoff down a narrow dirt road. "It's also about forty degrees warmer down here than it is in D.C., and I've heard the scenery here is a real eye-popper."

*Ah, The Truth finally emerges,* she thought with a wry smile. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of an elaborate wood sign amidst a cluster of palm trees:

Bare Valley Resort 'Converge With Nature Au Naturel'

*Au Naturel?*

Scully's confusion dissipated as she saw a man and woman walking along the side of the road, their arms around each other's waist. They looked very happy.

And very naked.

As the day they were born.

The couple stopped to wave and smile at the Taurus as they passed. Scully raised her hand and waved back with a thin smile on her lips. Her eyes finally left the couple and went to her hand, which she promptly whipped back to her lap when she realized what she was doing.

"Mulderrrr..." she growled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Scully," he grinned sheepishly. "Did I forget to mention this was a _nudist_ resort?"

\-------x-X-x-------

"_Now_ I know why you wanted this case," Scully mumbled under her breath. "This looks like a scene out of one of those videos I didn't find in your apartment."

"I'll have you know that not one of those videos I don't have in my apartment is about a nudist colony," Mulder replied with what sounded suspiciously like pride.

Try as she might, Scully couldn't help letting her eyes wander. She'd never seen this many naked _live_ bodies in one place at one time. Ever. People of all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life, young and old, black and white, doing just as the welcome sign said: converging with nature in the buff. The sight of it all was peaceful, even beautiful, Scully thought.

"Nudism, or naturism as those who partake like to call it, is an accepted lifestyle by millions of people around the world." Mulder paused as he pointed to an area with picnic tables and several playful children. "Look, there's even kids here. This is a place for families, not just adults."

Mulder stopped to ask directions to the owner's office from an attractive young woman whose breasts defied both logic and gravity. She pointed to a monolithic cabin-like building in the middle of the complex. He thanked her with a smile, very proud that he had only looked her chest twice while she spoke.

He started toward the main building but soon noticed Scully had lagged behind, staring at something with unwavering interest. He quietly walked up behind her and saw the object of her admiration: a young male, roughly six-foot-five, two-hundred pounds, attractive, muscular, tanned... and sporting the largest male appendage Mulder had ever seen in person or on video. He felt suddenly inadequate.

"Wow, that guy could enter the three-legged race all by himself," Mulder whispered in his partner's ear.

His comment earned him an elbow to the ribs and a fair amount of pain.

\-------x-X-x-------

"Agents, thank you for getting here so quickly." The voice came from a fully-clothed man in his late forties. "I'm Donald Berringer, the owner of Bare Valley Resort." He shook Scully's hand then Mulder's before ushering them into his office and gesturing to two black leather chairs.

Scully noticed Berringer's appearance was somewhat modest for the owner of a multi-million dollar resort. He wore a pair of plain khaki shorts, a simple white polo shirt, a Miami Dolphins baseball cap and well-worn deck shoes. He sported a thin graying mustache and the wisps of hair that could be seen from beneath the cap were dark brown salted with gray. His deep-set eyes were light green in color and bright in intensity.

What struck Scully as being even more strange than his casual attire was the fact that he was wearing attire at all.

Her confused look wasn't wasted on the man. "Ah, you're probably wondering why the head honcho is wearing clothes."

"The thought had crossed my mind," she replied lightly.

He smiled as he circled the oval-shaped mahogany desk sitting in the middle of the office. "See, Bare Valley has what we call a 'clothing optional' policy. Sometimes you feel like baring it all and sometimes you don't. We give our employees and guests that choice. I wear clothes here in the office because for reasons I can't figure out, it seems more professional to conduct business wearing clothes." He patted the high-back chair behind the desk. "Besides, my bare ass sticks to the leather."

Mulder let out a chuckle while Scully pursed her lips in a vain attempt to keep from laughing.

"Mr. Berringer," Mulder began, "I spoke with Howard Roth in the Miami office and got some background on the case, but I'd like to get your impressions of what has happened here."

Berringer sighed as he sat in his chair. "Disaster is what's happened, Agent Mulder. I was one of the founders of the town of Bare Valley and I tell you it scares the hell out of me that this could happen here. Bare Valley has always been a little slice of heaven to me, a place where families could raise their kids, free from the harshness and cruelty of the big cities."

Scully opened the file and flipped through a few pages. "Mr. Berringer, it says here that you have not informed the guests of what has happened to your employees." She looked up from the folder to focus her gaze on the owner. "How have you managed to cover their absence?"

He shrugged. "Told 'em they were sick or had to leave town on a family emergency." Berringer's eyes held Scully's in an intense gaze. "Look, Agent Scully, I can't tell my guests that three of my employees were murdered on the grounds. These folks pay good money to bring their families and friends to a safe, tranquil environment to practice a lifestyle that is frowned upon by the outside world. Here they are cut off from the balking and chastising of those who don't share in their beliefs. Here they are welcome and free from harm, and I want to keep it that way. That's why you're here. Find this maniac and find him quick."

Closing the file on her lap, Scully lifted her chin. "Mr Berringer, we will find the person or persons responsible, but we can't do it by sneaking around and worrying what the guests will think. We will need access to all employees for interviews as well as complete guest lists..."

"Ms. Scully," Berringer interrupted, "you can have all that and more. Anything you want or need will be provided. I know you can't conduct your investigation in the dark. All I'm asking for is a little discretion. I've

got twenty-two families here, most with small children."

Mulder nodded. "We understand. First off I think we'd like to talk to the people who found the bodies."

Berringer let out a dramatic sigh. "I can help you with one of them but not the other. Roger, my groundskeeper, was the one who found Sally Ann buried by the rose bushes out front. Unfortunately, Roger was the next victim. The person who found him and Allison, the latest one, was my resident manager, Leo."

"Then we'd like to talk to him as soon as possible," Scully replied.

"I'll have Carolyn page him right away." Berringer rose from his desk and the agents followed suit, standing and heading to the office door. "Leo was devastated when he found the bodies, especially Allison. He and Allison were friends from grade school, had known each other almost all their lives." He shook his head as he opened his office door.

"Agents, if you'll excuse me, I have to make my rounds." He shook their hands again while ushering them to the reception area. "Oh, could you do me one small favor?"

Mulder nodded while Scully eyed Berringer with suspicion.

"Did you pack anything more...casual?" he said while gesturing to the agents' professional attire.

"Yes. Why?" Scully asked defiantly.

"Well, your clothes scream 'feds'. Now I'm not saying you have to parade around in your birthday suits, maybe just some shorts or khakis or something."

Mulder smiled thinly. "We'll work on it." He looked at his partner to find the one-eyebrowed 'Excuse Me?' look on her face. He tilted his head and threw in a small shrug. His hand then went to the small of Scully's back as he escorted her to an area away from the secretary's desk.

Berringer turned to his secretary. "Carolyn, could you page Leo Butts and ask him to high-tail it in here?"

The secretary nodded and picked up the phone while Berringer waved a quick good-bye and ran out the front door.

Scully flinched and furrowed her brow. Did he just say what she thought he just said? Nah, her ears must have been playing tricks on her. She looked up at her partner. The lopsided smirk on his face told her that her ears were just fine.

"Did he just say Leo Butts? As in _Leonard_ Butts?"

Mulder's smirk grew. "Yes, yes he did."

Scully shook her head and bit down on her tongue. She was NOT going to laugh, damnit! The name was too close to Leonard _Betts_, a name that had brought nothing but darkness to her life.

But still... Leonard _Butts_?

"At least his first name isn't Seymour," Mulder threw out, breaking the silence. He could see the internal battle going on inside her head like he was a front-row spectator. She wanted to laugh but was determined not to. He'd seen that contorted look on her face enough to know she was fighting the giggles. Dana Scully did not giggle, at least not that he had seen, and if she did it certainly would not be in a professional setting. He'd have to work on that.

Scully bit harder on her tongue, determination setting in her eyes. No matter what Mulder said she was NOT going to laugh. Laughing would only encourage him. She held the laughter in check, keeping it pooled in a reservoir in her mind like a dam holding the rushing currents of untamed water. She was a professional. She would NOT laugh.

Still...

"I wonder if _this_ Leonard has any regenerative abilities," she mumbled.

Mulder leaned into her, his mouth right by her ear. "Yeah, he can regrow his own ass."

The dam broke. The laugh started in her nose, causing a snorting sound to emit from her. Immediately following was the hiccuping associated with trying to control uncontrollable laughter. She tried to keep it down but that only made the sound go through her nose again, which made her laugh even harder.

Mulder wasn't far behind, his control ending with the odd sounds coming from his partner. His low chuckle soon grew into a teary attempt at trying not to laugh out loud.

The secretary, who was out of earshot, looked at the two agents huddled at one end of the office, their shoulders shaking. She briefly wondered what they were doing, then saw Leo enter the reception area. She pointed to the duo in the corner.

Looking over his partner's shoulder, Mulder saw Leo approaching and cleared his throat. Scully quickly wiped the tears from her face and took a few calming breaths. She turned around just as Leo reached them.

"You're the FBI agents, right?" His voice was hesitant.

Scully stuck out her hand. "I'm Dana Scully and this is my partner, Fox Mulder. We'd like to ask you a few questions. Is there somewhere more private we could go?"

He nodded. "We can go to my bungalow. I need to go there anyway to get the decorations for tonight's dance." Leo turned and headed toward the door.

"Dance?" Mulder mouthed silently to Scully, his leer unmistakable.

She turned and stopped short for a moment as she saw Leo walking away. The front side of Leo had been average, almost pleasant. Tall, willowy and tan, with dishwater-blonde hair, dark brown eyes and a fresh, young face. The back side of Leo had been a shock. Scully realized that the young man had been aptly named. He had the rear end of a man double his weight. It was what her mom used to call a 'bubble butt'.

Mulder's eyes went from Leo's backside to Scully's head. He stared at her, willing her to look at him. He rarely got to hear her laugh. He wanted to hear it again. And he knew she would if she looked him in the eye.

*This is going to be a long case,* Scully thought, ignoring the heat she could feel from Mulder's gaze as she followed Leo out of the building.


	2. Chapter 2

Bare Valley Resort   
Manager's Bungalow   
April 22, 12:30pm

Bungalow was the right word for Leo's living quarters. Situated near the main building, the small cabin looked like a cozy home away from home, complete with a big living room, a good-sized bedroom and a kitchen that any gourmet would love to have in their home.

Leo gestured to a modest beige loveseat in the living room. "Please, sit down. I'm going to put on T-shirt. I've had enough sun today." He left for the bedroom while the agents wandered toward the loveseat. Mulder stopped at a large wicker bookshelf. The bottom shelf held a few books, most of them on Greek mythology or rock music. The top shelves were placed farther apart, allowing for hundreds of record albums to be housed in the spaces, each meticulously covered in a plastic jacket.

Thumbing through one shelf's worth, Mulder admired the variety of artists: Earth, Wind and Fire, Three Dog Night, The Stones, Joe Satriani, Jimi Hendrix. His eyes fell upon a mint-condition copy of the Beatles' White album, complete with a serial number on the jacket. He let out a low whistle. Leo had some major cash sitting on his bookshelf.

Leo appeared several minutes later wearing a Coed Naked Volleyball T-shirt. No shorts, much to Scully's dismay.

Mulder pointed to the bookshelf while taking a seat next to Scully. "Great collection you've got."

A thin, lopsided smile appeared on Leo's face, the first one since they had met him. The smile revealed crooked, off-white teeth. "I've been collecting them for over twenty years, ever since I was seven. Many of them were my dad's, some of them I've bought at trade shows."

Mulder nodded. "Mr. Butts..."

Leo's hand shot up. "Please. Just call me Leo."

*Thank you,* Scully intoned in her head.

"Leo," Mulder continued, "how did you find Roger Holt's body?"

The tanned, half-dressed man moved to a recliner across from the loveseat, his T-shirt riding up as he sat, revealing everything below his waist. Scully drew an imaginary line at his chest and refused to let her eyes drop below it.

"Well, I was on night patrol," Leo began as he toyed with the hem of his shirt, "and I smelled smoke down by the lake. I saw what I thought was a small brush fire and grabbed a fire extinguisher from the nearest cabin." He turned to Scully. "Don's really strict about the fire extinguishers. One has to be outside every cabin."

He scratched at his nose before continuing. "I ran back to the fire and it wasn't until I got almost on top of it that I noticed it was a person on fire." Leo fidgeted in the recliner, then crossed his legs under his body. Scully winced at the view his new position provided. She could sense the smirk on her partner's face and opted to keep her eyes forward, focusing on Leo's face.

"Was Roger alive at that point?" Mulder asked.

"I doubt it," Leo shrugged. "I don't know how anyone could have survived that. I tried touching him but burned myself." He thrust his hand forward, palm up, revealing an oval-shaped burn near his wrist. "I ran to the nearest cabin and called 911. Then I called Don."

Scully eyed the burn for a moment before scribbling in her notebook. "And what about Allison Wade?"

Leo's face darkened. "Ally went into town with some of the other employees. I told her not to go. I told her it was dangerous to be out that late but she wouldn't listen to me. She wanted to go to a club in the next town. She just turned twenty-eight a month ago but she's still young and naive. _Was_ young and naive."

As he spoke Scully noticed an increasing uneasiness with their witness. His posture and demeanor seemed to be changing before her eyes. He went from being easy-going and timid to dark and moody in a matter of seconds. She sensed there were feelings well beyond friendship in Leo's heart for Allison Wade.

"Anyway, I had just gotten back from making the nightly deposit at the bank and I saw their car. I went to Ally's bungalow and knocked on the door but she didn't answer. Her light was on, which it hadn't been earlier, so I thought she was in there. I peeked in the window and saw her...I saw her hanging from one of the beams, a rope around her neck." His voice was shallow and rough with emotion.

Mulder nodded sympathetically. "Just one more question, Leo. Is there anyone you can think of who would have had something against these three people?"

Leo took a deep breath, his laid-back demeanor reasserting itself in his face. "Not that I know of, unless it was someone on the outside."

Scully shot Mulder a quick look and a raised eyebrow before standing. "Thank you, Leo. If you think of anything else, please let us know."

Leo nodded then pushed out of his seat. "Don wanted me to show you to your bungalow. It's the one we call the Honey Mooner." Another quick smile flashed on his lips. "The name was Don's idea."

"No doubt," Scully mumbled under her breath.

"Don't worry, though," Leo added. "We'll have a futon from one of the family bungalows available after six tonight. I'll have it brought here." He led them out of his bungalow to their car, where Mulder and Leo retrieved their luggage, then down a winding dirt trail to another cabin roughly the same size as the Manager's Bungalow.

Expecting a heart-shaped bed and bathtub-for-two, Scully was pleasantly surprised by the cabin's modest furnishings. Creamy beige walls surrounded the expansive living room, which was decorated with a striped couch of earthtone browns and reds, a matching recliner and a rectangular dark wood coffee table. Peeking in the bedroom, she noticed a standard queen-size bed with a fluffy beige and burgundy-striped comforter. She felt at ease with the decor so far she didn't need to see the bathroom. Yet.

"If you need anything, my number is 510 on the courtesy phone." Leo nodded once before abruptly turning and exiting the cabin, closing the door behind him.

Mulder looked out the window and saw him heading toward the main building. "So, what do you think of our Mr. Butts?"

Scully's lips fought a grin. "I think our Mr. Butts is hiding something. That burn on his wrist is more than just a few days' old. And I think he has, or had, feelings for Allison Wade that weren't very brotherly in nature."

"That's hardly a reason to suspect him," Mulder asserted.

She shrugged. "Maybe."

"Come on, Scully. Don't tell me you've never had romantic feelings for someone you work with." His eyes penetrated hers. "We all have, at one time or another."

Scully could feel the heat rising in her face. "Yes, but they have never escalated to an obsessive form, which is obviously the case with Leo. And I never act on them."

"Never?"

"Never." She left the room before he had a chance to throw out a rebuttal.

Mulder watched her leave, catching just a hint of a blush on her face. He smiled in victory. This case was turning out to be almost fun.

\-------x-X-x-------

Deciding they would cover more ground working separately, the agents agreed to pursue their leads then meet at the end of the day for dinner. Scully drove to the county building and reviewed the bodies and autopsy reports in depth while Mulder remained on the resort grounds interviewing employees. One of his interviewees included the object of Scully's admiring eye. He decided it best not to tell her that her well-hung young stud was about as bright as a bug zapper.

Mulder finished his interviews by six o'clock, just minutes before Scully arrived back at the resort. They opted for dinner in their bungalow rather than the restaurant or the outdoor barbecue. Mulder ordered from room service while Scully changed into something more comfortable. He was surprised but pleased when she returned from the bedroom wearing khaki shorts and a short-sleeved cotton sweater.

The ever-elusive Scully legs. A joy to behold when they made one of their rare appearances unobscured by pantyhose. Mulder's wandering thoughts and contented smile were interrupted by a knock at the door. Dinner had arrived.

"That was quick," he commented to Scully as he opened the door to a far-too-perky waiter named Dean.

Mulder watched in amusement as Dean fluttered around the dining room area, setting the table, lighting candles, displaying a vase of wildflowers on the table and generally creating the perfect romantic atmosphere.

Scully leaned into her partner. "Isn't this a bit much?"

"Nothing's too good for 'the little woman'," Mulder replied, putting his arm around Scully's shoulder. His comment was greeted with another elbow to the ribs.

Ten minutes later, Dean left them to dine on grilled chicken in lemon pepper sauce, steamed broccoli and carrots -- which Mulder promptly shoveled onto Scully's plate -- and baby red potatoes smothered in garlic butter. The food smelled heavenly and tasted even better. They ate in silence, savoring a meal that wasn't fast, fried or served on a paper plate.

"Find anything interesting?" he ventured, breaking the silence.

"Not really," she said as she eyed the potatoes with equal amounts of contempt and lust. She knew those little buggers were going to head straight to her hips. Finally giving in, she pierced one with her fork and nibbled on the end before continuing. "There was evidence of gasoline on Roger Holt's body, but considering the extent of the burns, I expected some kind of outside accellerant. Nothing unusual on Sally Ann Mead's body, but we did get four complete prints off Allison Wade."

"We'll probably find that those prints are from dance partners at the club she was at earlier in the evening." Mulder had cleaned his plate and was looking intently at the remainder of his partner's chicken. Scully caught him and motioned permission with her fork. Somehow he understood her 'Touch the potatoes and you die' look, as he only impaled the chicken with his fork, bringing it to his plate.

"So I take it the interviews were a bust. No pun intended, of course," she added lightly.

"Of course," he replied with a tip of his head. "No one saw anything, no one heard anything. I do have one more interview to conduct, which I will be doing as soon as I finish eating."

"Who is it?"

Mulder popped the last bite of chicken into his mouth. "Katie Miller, Allison's cabinmate. I guess most of the employees have to double-bunk. Katie saw Allison alive less than a half-hour before Leo found her swinging from the rafters."

Scully pushed the plate away, no sign that the potatoes had ever existed. "Why didn't you interview her earlier?"

"She took a group of kids on what Berringer called a 'flora and fauna hike' this afternoon. He wasn't expecting her back much before dusk."

"Rather convenient, don't you think?" she asked, a thin film of sarcasm coating her words. "The FBI shows up and the last person to see Allison Wade alive decides to take a nature break?"

Mulder chuckled. "It does warrant further interrogation. I'd better go change." He rose from the table and started rifling through his garment bag.

"Change? For what?"

Mulder's hand emerged from his bag holding a small scrap of red material. "Hot tubbin', Scully."

One reddish-brown eyebrow arched. "What?"

"Well, it's really that natural hot spring Leo told us about on the way here. He said Katie Miller always goes there after one of her hikes."

"And the only way you can interview her is if you're wearing a Speedo and sitting in Nature's Jacuzzi?" It was getting exceedingly difficult to hide

the devilish smile on her face.

"No," he said, matching her sarcasm. "I thought we were supposed to be as inconspicuous as possible. Besides, Leo said it was something that had to be experienced. He said Berringer thinks the spring has natural healing powers."

Scully bit back a remark about it being possible to be inconspicuous and still be wearing more than a sliver of clothing, but she decided to let it die as Mulder walked into the bedroom. Instead she gathered the plates and flatware and placed them on the server's cart, then wheeled it outside the cabin. She closed the door and turned just in time to see her partner's tall, lean body completely exposed to her wandering eye, save for the skintight Speedo clutching his loins.

She met his eyes for a brief moment, then abruptly walked to the couch, grabbing the laptop from the coffee table as she went. She settled on the couch and ventured another look. Her eye caught a leather pouch hanging from his shoulder. She'd somehow managed to miss that on her first visual sweep.

*Wonder why, Dana.* She cleared her throat.

"Mulder, what's that?" she asked, pointing to the pouch.

"A birthday present from the Gunmen. Never thought I'd have any use for it. It holds my gun," he explained, flipping the pouch over to show his holstered Sig-Sauer, "and inside I have cuffs, my ID badge and cel phone."

She smiled wickedly. "I have to say, Mulder, most men couldn't pull it off but you look pretty good carrying a purse."

"It's not a purse, it's a pouch," he said defensively.

"Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe," she replied with a flourish of her hand.

He ignored her triumphant grin and walked across the cabin, turning to her when he opened the door. "You're welcome to join me, Scully. A dip in the springs could do you some good. You look a little tense."

"No thanks," she muttered, her eyes never leaving the laptop. "I'm going to start on the field report."

"OK, your loss," he shrugged as he left the cabin and closed the door behind him.

Scully raised her eyes at the sound of the door lock engaging. Through the open blinds, she could see her partner heading away from the cabin. She admired the various muscle parts that contracted and expanded as he walked. Tighten and release, tighten and release...

Scully shook her head and launched the word processing program on the laptop. *Oh yeah. This is going to be a _long_ case. A long, lean, sinewy, rippling...*


	3. Chapter 3

Bare Valley Resort   
April 22, 6:45pm

Jagged rocks marred the otherwise tranquil terrain on the way to the hot spring. Mulder's feet thanked him for opting to wear a pair of sturdy white Vans instead of the thin mesh shoes he normally wore to the pool.

He followed the trail and markers that Leo had mentioned to the agents, and within minutes he found the spring. He also found Katie Miller looking very relaxed, settled in the water up to her neck, steam rising around her youthful face.

A twig snapped under his foot and Katie opened her eyes.

"You must be Agent Mulder. Don said you might be coming by to talk to me." She shifted in the water, straightening her spine, which caused her chest to rise out of the water.

*Great. Another one with a good plastic surgeon,* Mulder thought as he eyed the two perfectly round orbs on her chest. How was he supposed to interview this woman about a tragic and brutal murder while her breasts sat there, watching him like a second set of eyes? He sighed and put his towel on a nearby rock. He set the pouch on the edge of the spring and started to slip out of his shoes.

"You might want to keep those on," Katie said, pointing to his Vans. "There are still some sharp rocks on the bottom of the spring. We've tried to get them all out but some just won't budge."

He nodded and slipped his shoe back on, then lowered himself into the spring. The water was strikingly hot at first but he quickly adjusted to it. The spring had a natural shelf inside half of the perimeter, allowing for a bench, which he found surprisingly smooth when he sat down. Feather-light bubbles tickled his body, sneaking up on him and popping just as they kissed the surface of his skin.

"It's like God intended this to be used as a Jacuzzi, isn't it?" Katie commented as Mulder relaxed, the water covering him to mid-chest level. His only reply was a nod.

"You know what makes it better?"

Mulder opened his eyes and saw Katie's wide eyes waiting for his response. "No, what?" he supplied.

"No clothes. The sensations of the bubbles popping around certain parts of your body is intoxicating." She winked at him and settled farther into the water, her breasts sinking below the water line.

He smiled politely. "I'll have to take your word on that."

"Oh, come on. It's not like I can see anything, if that's what you're worried about."

"No, I don't have a problem with nudity." His eyes ventured down and confirmed her assessment: the sun had begun to set and with it went the light that would have made his lap visible. Now, with just a sliver of light still left, he could barely make out the red of his Speedo.

"It's an amazing feeling, really. I think it's the reason Don says the spring has healing powers, because of the way it makes you feel. Come on. You should live a little. Treat yourself."

Mulder's eyes narrowed. Where had he heard those words before? Oh yeah, now he remembered...

Surprising Katie -- and himself -- Mulder lifted his butt from the bench and inched the Speedo down his legs and over his shoes. Looking at Katie, he took the scrap of material in one hand and flung it over his shoulder.

Katie laughed. "Way to go! You won't be sorry." She smiled then settled back against the edge of the spring.

She was right. The feeling was exquisite, something he had never felt before. The sensation was both relaxing and erotic, but not in a sexual sense. He felt at peace, at least until he realized he was supposed to be interviewing a witness.

"I hate to ruin the mood but I do need to ask you a few questions."

She waved him off with a hand. "It's OK. I understand."

"You told the local police that you saw Allison Wade at the bungalow less than thirty minutes before she was found. Did she seem depressed at the time?"

"Oh no, not at all," Katie exclaimed. "She was really happy. She had met this guy at the club and had given him her phone number. She'd seen him there before and was really interested and he had finally approached her. She was happier than I had seen her in weeks."

Mulder nodded. "Had she said anything to you about someone who might be angry with her?"

"No, not that I know of. I know Leo wasn't too thrilled about her going out that late. He worries about her like a protective older brother. He's kinda old-fashioned, too. Thinks clubs aren't the place for a 'proper young lady' like Ally. I think that's why he doesn't like me."

"Because you go clubbing with Allison?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "That and I was taking up most of the time that she used to spend with him. See, Ally and I didn't start hanging out together until about a month ago. That's when he started to act toward me like he did Sally Ann."

Mulder's eyebrows shot up. "Sally Ann Mead?"

Katie nodded enthusiastically, her short brown ponytail bobbing with her head's movement. "Yeah. She had borrowed one of his records and scratched it. He would give her the most scathing looks after that."

The wheels in Mulder's head came to life, the mechanism grinding into motion and picking up speed. "Leo is an interesting character, isn't he?"

Katie chuckled. "You don't know the half of it. Have you seen the inside of his cabin?"

"Yes, earlier today. He has quite a record collection."

"I know. All he does is go in his cabin and listen to those records. And Sally Ann scratched one of his favorites, an old Earth, Wind and Fire album. I forget the title."

"Earth, Wind and Fire?" Mulder could feel his breath quickening.

"Yeah, that's his favorite group."

"Earth, Wind and Fire," he whispered to himself. He startled Katie when he grabbed for his leather pouch and fished out the cel phone. He hit #1 on his speed dial and waited for the familiar greeting.

"Scully."

"It's me," he said quickly. "Get over to Leo Butts' cabin and see if he's there. Bring your gun and cuffs."

"Why?" The surprise was more than evident in her voice. "What's up?"

"He did it, Scully. Leo's the killer."

Mulder got stereo "What?" exclamations from Katie and Scully.

"Just get over to Leo's cabin and I'll explain," he told Scully.

"I'm out the door. Now, talk."

Mulder started to get out of the water. "On Leo's bookshelf were albums by the group Earth, Wind and Fire, what Katie says is his favorite band. Also on that bookshelf was a book on Greek philosophy. The Greek philosopher Empedocles asserted that the universe was comprised of four basic elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water."

"Yeah, so?"

"Sally Ann Mead was buried alive. That's Earth. Roger Holt was burned alive. That's Fire. Allison Wade was hung. That's Air because she was suspended in air by the rope."

Try as he might, Mulder couldn't find his Speedo. How far had he flung it? And in what direction? He walked in further into the trees while waiting for Scully to respond.

"Mulder, I'm at his cabin. There's no sign of him." She paused and he could hear her opening and closing a door. "Wait. What about Water?"

"It means he's going to kill again." Mulder froze as he heard a loud pop, then heard a tight buzz as a bullet whizzed by his ear, missing him by inches.

Katie screamed and huddled toward one end of the spring.

"Scully, get over here!" He turned in the direction of the shot and saw the wide load of Leo Butts disappearing between the trees.

"Call 9-1-1," he said to Katie as he threw his cel phone at her. She nodded nervously and started to dial.

Mulder grabbed his gun from the pouch and took off after Leo. It wasn't until he broke into a full run that he realized something was amiss. Things were jiggling that normally didn't jiggle when he ran. He looked down.

"Awwhh, shit."

It was too late to turn back and find the Speedo. Scully was just going to love this one. He ignored the pain and the thought of impending teasing from his partner, and pushed himself harder. Within seconds, he was able to catch another glimpse of Leo's bare ass.

He was closing in on him.

\-------x-X-x-------

As she ran toward the hot spring, Scully shook her head in amazement. How had Mulder been able to piece together that theory? From a seventies funk band to a Greek philosopher to the entire case solved. How did he do it? Part of her was jealous that he had that ability. The other part was frightened.

She found the clearing where the hot spring was situated and saw a naked, shaking Katie Miller clutching Mulder's cel phone to her surgically-enhanced chest.

"Which way?"

Katie pointed behind her then quickly wrapped her fingers around the phone again.

"Thanks," Scully threw out as she passed Katie and ran through a row of trees. She could hear the crunching of leaves and twigs off to her left. She stopped for a second and listened, hearing Mulder yell "Freeze!" She ran in the direction of his scream.

Rounding a group of trees, she could see the heads of the two men and could see Mulder had a headlock on Leo. The rest of their bodies were still obscured by tall shrubs.

"Mulder, I'm here," she shouted.

"Good. I need your cuffs," he yelled back.

She ran around the foliage and another group of trees until her sight of the men was completely unobscured. She skidded to a halt in the dirt.

*Oh. My. God.*

Scully's eyebrows shot up so fast she almost gave her eyes whiplash. Not only was Leo naked but so was her partner. Why was Mulder naked? Didn't he have a Speedo on when he left the cabin? Did she really want to know what had happened to his swimsuit? No, not at the moment. She was too busy surveying what the Speedo had done such a good job of hiding.

"Scully? Handcuffs?"

Seeing Mulder naked and using the word 'handcuffs' sent a pleasant tingle up her spine. Her observations had been correct. Mulder had a great ass. She had suspected that from seeing him in jeans but now she had definitive proof, having seen it in the flesh. No pun intended. As for the rest of him, it was better than she had anticipated. _Much_ better.

Her agent instincts finally kicked in, snapping her out of her sightseeing fog. She handed him the cuffs and remained silent as her partner cuffed Leo and led him out of the clearing.

"Not one word, Scully," Mulder shot at her with a turn of his head.

"Did I say anything?" she asked innocently.

"Uh, why don't you walk in front of us?"

"No, I think I'll just take up the rear." She had to bite her bottom lip to keep from laughing.

He groaned. "I'm never going to live this one down, am I?"

"Not a chance, partner" she replied with a toothy grin. "Not. A. Chance."

************* EPILOGUE *************

Bare Valley Resort Honey Mooner's Bungalow April 22, 10:00pm

"Come on, Scully. You'll love it." Mulder threw in his puppy-dog eyes and pouty lip combination.

Scully wasn't budging. "Mulder, I don't want to go to the hot spring. As it is, we'll have to hurry if we want to catch the last flight."

He grinned that 'I'm up to something' grin that she knew meant nothing but trouble. "Last flight is booked. I called while you were signing off on the last bit of paperwork at the sheriff's office. We have to stay the night."

She tilted her head to the side. "You know as well as I do that since the case is over, the Bureau is not going to spring for this room."

"No problem. It's free."

Her eyebrow arched. "Free?"

His grin widened. "Berringer says it's his way of thanking us for catching Leo and keeping it away from the guests."

"Mulder, we can't stay here. That's tantamount to payment for services, something of which we cannot accept." She started to gather her garment bag and laptop, which he promptly took from her hands and set on the couch.

"We can if there are no other hotel rooms available in town," he remarked.

She sighed, her sign of giving up the argument. "Fine. We're staying, but we're still not going out to the hot spring. You lost your Speedo, remember? And I didn't pack a suit."

"Not a problem. Clothing is optional." He shot her an eyebrow flip and headed out the cabin door.

Scully pursed her lips and waited for ten seconds before following Mulder, closing the door behind her.

\-------x-X-x-------

Using their high-powered flashlights, the partners found the hot spring without a problem. Mulder placed his flashlight on a nearby rock and began shedding his clothes. He ventured a look at Scully, who was watching with what he hoped was interest. He got to the boxers and hesitated for a millisecond before lowering them.

"It's not like you haven't seen it before," he said in answer to her raised eyebrows.

"Who said I wanted to see it again?" Scully threw at him without thinking.

*Oh, good one, Dana. Could you have thought of anything _more_ childish to say?* She bit her lip.

Mulder chuckled quietly as he lowered himself into the water. "Oh yeah," he whispered. "This is fabulous, Scully. You really should try it."

"I'll get my clothes wet."

He looked up at her, pinning her with his eyes. "So take off your clothes."

She knew that look in his eye. He was challenging her, daring her to do it. *Ignore him, Dana. He's only trying to get a rise out of you.* Even as she thought those words, her mind struggled. He'd already seen her in her underwear so she wouldn't be baring any information he didn't already know. She did a mental checklist of her undergarments: peach-colored satin bra and matching panties, not too fancy but flattering nonetheless. Those would do.

With her eyes tethered to his, she began unbuttoning her sweater, tossing it aside. The khaki shorts went next. A self-satisfying smirk spread across her lips as she watched his expression change from mirth to amazement.

Scully walked to the edge of the spring and toed off her shoes and pulled off her socks.

"The rocks are pretty sharp in the bottom of the spring, Scully," he said, his voice nearly an octave lower than normal. "You should keep your shoes on."

"Mulder, they're Italian leather. I'll brave the rocks barefoot." She stepped on the shelf, a few feet from where Mulder was seated. She squatted, then sat down and let her legs dangle over the edge of the shelf. She realized cutting her foot was out of the question since she couldn't touch bottom.

It took her a few seconds to adjust to the tiny bubbles exploding on her skin but once she got acclimated, she realized he was right. This was heaven.

Mulder leaned into her. "You know, it's even more wild when you're not wearing anything, but I guess that's something you'll never know."

She turned her head toward him and opened her eyes. "Why?"

"Well, I know you're too...reserved for that."

Scully could feel her blood beginning to boil and it wasn't from the heat of the spring. "Are you calling me a prude, Mulder?"

Mock-surprise filled his face. "Oh, no, of course not. You're just more...conservative than me. More...restrained."

He _was_ calling her a prude! Her eyes narrowed for a brief second. He was baiting her again, knowing she wouldn't dare strip completely. *Wouldn't he just die if I bared it all?* she thought to herself as a thin smile crept its way onto her lips. Something about the hot spring was not only removing her tensions but her inhibitions as well.

Scully reached behind her back and unhooked her bra. The water covered her up to her collarbone so she was given some reprieve from his wide-eye stare as she pulled the bra from her shoulders and tossed it in the direction of her clothes. She slipped off her panties and brought them to the surface with one finger, parading them in front of Mulder's face before flinging them.

She squirmed on the shelf, nestling herself in lower and exhaled with a dramatic sigh. She had performed that little display for his benefit but she had to admit that the feeling of the bubbles bursting everywhere on her body was quite exhilarating.

Mulder stopped breathing. Scully, his prim and proper partner, was naked underneath the water. Naked! Talk about extreme possibilities...

"Feels good, doesn't it?" he whispered in her ear.

She answered with a deep "ummm hmmm".

A comfortable silence ensued as they lounged in the effervescent paradise for nearly an hour. At one point, Mulder stretched his arms out like wings behind him, his hand lightly brushing against Scully's shoulder several times, and obviously on purpose. She didn't move. Neither did he. Not for a very long time.

Scully was the first to break the peaceful silence. "Mulder, we're going to be prunes if we sit here much longer."

Mulder's hand went underneath the water, his fingers glancing her thigh before he found her hand, which he brought to the surface. "Looks like we're too late." He planted a quick, almost innocent kiss on her knuckles before letting her hand drop back to her lap.

"We should still head back," she managed to get out.

"Yeah, we should." He stood and started to climb out of the spring, very aware of the insistent eyes of his partner on his body. He resisted the urge to catch her staring and walked toward her clothing. He gathered her bra and panties and turned back to her.

"Here, Scully. I promise I won't peek while..."

His jaw dropped as he saw his very naked partner emerging from the spring, water cascading from every curve and plane. Without looking at him, she dried off her feet with her socks and slipped into her shoes. Finally, she ventured a look at her partner. Oh, the look on his face was classic! Mulder-in-shock was one of her favorite expressions of his, and one in which she rarely was given the opportunity to indulge. The power was almost as intoxicating as the spring.

She walked past him, shooting him a sly smile. Continuing for a few more paces, she figured he had suffered enough and she turned back. "Mulder, are you coming?"

*Not yet, but give me a few minutes and I'm sure I'll be able to oblige.* He shook those oh-so-dangerous thoughts from his head before he made a complete fool out of himself. He started toward her but stopped at the sound of her voice.

"Oh, Mulder," she said sweetly, "could you bring my clothes?"

"With pleasure, ma'am," he replied as he scooped up her clothing. He quickly closed the distance between them, his hand slipping into hers, which was outstretched and waiting for him when he caught up to her.

They walked in silence for the majority of the trip back to the Honey Mooner bungalow, until Mulder was unable to control his curiosity.

"So, uh, Scully. Does that mean we can cancel the request for the extra bed?"

Scully shot him an arched eyebrow. "Don't push it, Mulder."

Despite her answer, he grinned from ear to ear. This was one trip to the forest Fox Mulder would take pleasure in never forgetting.


End file.
